Where's My Fifty?
by MidnightSteele
Summary: Life is made up of moments. What happens when you forget them all?
1. Where's My Fifty?

"Oh, I love this song!" I exclaim, turning up the radio, much to Christian's dismay.

We're riding along in the R8, heading back to the house on the sound. It's Sunday, so we had the usual family dinner at Bellevue. Words can't express how much I love this man sitting next to me. I love him with all of my heart. Sure, we've only been married for a little while, but I've never been happier. This is where I belong… with Christian. I sing along to the lyrics, making Christian smile when he hears the lyrics.

_Well you done done me and you bet I felt it  
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted  
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back_

_Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest  
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some_

_But I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm yours_

I'm dancing along with the lyrics, much to Christian's amusement. Hey, I might not be the best singer or dancer, but I know how to have fun. What can I say? I'm going to be 22 soon, but I also still have a lot of living to do.

_Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love_

_Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing  
We're just one big family  
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved love love_

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate, our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours_

_D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do  
But do you want to come on  
Scooch on over closer dear  
And I will nibble your ear_

I give flirtatious grin to my husband, and he grins back; but keeps his eyes on the road. I know he's watching me from his peripheral vision, and I'm having fun. He looks to be amused to, and I love seeing my man smile. I think he sometimes forgets that he's 28. He's always working so hard, and I love it when he finally relaxes.

_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer  
But my breath fogged up the glass  
And so I drew a new face and I laughed_

My silly dance moves earn a chuckle from Christian, and he turns the radio back down. I sit back in my seat, with my heard turn sideways, admiring my fifty.

"I love you, Ana. Even when you're crazy…" He chides, and I smirk at him. He glances at me, before turning his eyes back to the road.

"I love you, too. You just need to learn to loosen up a bit, Mr. CEO." I say.

"Perhaps you're right, dear. Although, you seem to be doing a pretty good job so far."He says, making me giggle.

"Well, that's because I love you. No matter how _stiff_, you may be." I say, enjoying my own little joke. My hand is on the increasing bulge in his pants, whilst my teeth nip at his ear. Leaning over the console is uncomfortable, but I love winding fifty up. It makes for a wonderful time when we get home. Although, he always seems to win our little games; I supposed it's just because he's so damn sexy. Yes, I definitely can't resist my husband. And by the bulge in his trousers, I would say he felt the same way about me. What can I say? We can't keep out hands off each other. I mean, we are like horny teenagers most of the time.

"Ana" He groans, forcing himself to look ahead.

"I'm sorry, baby. Laters." I whisper, stopping my movements with my hand. Instead, it rests on the other side of his face, stocking the tiny stubble. My forehead grazes his check, and I inhale his sent. He smells of my Christian, and I take a moment to remember this. Because this right here, it's one of those little moments. Something as simple as driving home with my husband or simply being able to be next to the man I love. Well, these are the moments I love for. And I tend to savor each one. I guess I'm lucky like that; I wouldn't take something like these moments forgranted. I guess people do that sometimes, take things forgranted. But why would anyone not savor something as small as this? How could anyone forget something like this? I don't know what I would ever do if I lost this… because these moments, well, these moments are my life.

I open my eyes, and I see everything happen in a blink of an eye. Bright lights are coming towards us, and in that moment, I lose everything. "Christian, look out!" I yell, jerking myself away from him. But it's too late, by the time he sees it coming; we are bolted forward in the car, before it starts to spin. I watch in horror as my husband take the blunt end of the accident. It makes me want to switch places; it makes me wish I would have gotten him to let me drive. Would things have ended up so different? Would we still be here, in this moment? Would we not have lost everything, right here, right now?

* * *

Everything goes black for a few moments, before I hear commotion outside of the car. My eyes blink open, and I take in the sight of my unconscious husband; next to me. The sight makes me scream, and I hurdly try to undue my belt buckle.

"Christian" I yell, no movement. I continue trying to call his name, and after what seems like forever, I finally get my seatbelt undone. I lean over the console, putting my face as close as I can next to his; I make sure not to move him. When I feel his light breath on my skin, I sigh in relief. A knock on the window makes me jump of my skin, seeing its Taylor, I sag in relief.

I try to open my door, but it just won't budge.

"Mrs. Grey, back away from the window, and please cover your face. I'm going to break it." Taylor calls through the door, and I carefully curl into my husband's side. I put my jacket over the two of us, coving us from the shattering glass. The car is caved in, on the driver's side, and I start to wonder just how much damage was done.

"Mrs. Grey" Taylor says, and I uncover my husband and I.

"Taylor, you have to help Christian." I cry, as he helps me from the window.

"It's going to be alright, Ana." He says, sounding like a father to me at the moment. It's exactly the relationship Taylor and I have had… he has been like a father to me. He backs us away from the car, and several paramedics rush to the car. I cry into Taylor's suit, thankful that he was driving behind us. I can't help but wonder what if even he were driving, and we were in the SUV. Would this have happened then? All the "What if's" invade my mind, and my sobs are getting worse.

"Mrs. Grey, I need you to calm down. I need you to let the paramedics look you over." Taylor says, and I pull away; continuing to sob. I don't care if I'm hurt; I want them to help Christian. I'm put into the back of a second ambulance, and as it pulls away I watch my husband being taken into another. Sawyer is now with me, and Taylor has gone with Christian. I sit, lifeless, as the paramedic looks for bumps or bruises. He's asking me questions, which Sawyer ends up answering. I can't talk right now. I can't find the words.

By the time we make It to the hospital, I have a broken right wrist which was causes on impact. And I also have a few scrapes on my arm, along with a cut on my head. It isn't severe, but I could really care less. It's not like it hurts, anyway. The only thing that hurts is the fear of losing my husband. The fear of losing my fifty… my life.

The last thing I remember is the fear of losing Christian, before everything goes black.

* * *

I awake in a hospital bed, my wrist is in some sort of cast. My neck is in the brace they put on me in the ambulance. My eyes dart around the room, taking in my surroundings. Just as I'm about to go in search of my husband, Grace walks in.

"Where Christian?" Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.

"He hasn't woken up yet, dear. I'm going to check you over again, before I let you go see him. You passed out when you arrived, due to hyperventilation. I want to make sure everything is okay." She says forlorn.

"I'm fine Grace. I need to see Christian." I know I'm being stubborn, but I want to know he's alright.

"Ana, I know you're just as stubborn as my son. But please, give me this. Your family and I need to make sure your okay. I promise to take you to Christian when I'm done." She says, and I reluctantly nod.

Grace examines me, asking me questions that I'm not sure how I voice. I feel as if I've died a thousand times today. I just want to make sure Christian's okay.

When she finishes, I get the neck brace taken off; but the cast stays. She tells me what to expect when we see Christian, and I'm crying before we enter the room. He looks so beaten lying in the hospital bed, I instantly run to his side. He's still sleeping, but I'm joyful just to see him.

"Why is he still sleeping?" I ask, sitting on the edge of his bed. I've placed his wedding ring back on, from when they took it off in surgery; and I'm now stroking the band in his finger whilst holding his hand.

"It's his brain, Ana. We're not sure what shape he's going to be in when he wakes up. It should be soon, don't worry. Why don't you talk to him, I'll be right outside if you need me." She says, steeping outside the door.

"Christian, I love you. Hell, I love you with all of my heart. Please don't leave me, baby. I don't know what I would do without you. You're my everything. I'm nothing without you. I'll never stop loving you. You can't give up on me, not yet. It's too soon… you promised me forever. I'm holding you to that Mr. Grey. So, you can't give up now. You far to strong… I know you are. Please, please, come back to me Christian." I say, tears falling down my face, looking at our joined hands.

"Huh?" I hear him ask, and my head snaps to him.

"Christian!" I squeal, wrapping my arms around him. He's awake he's really awake. I pull away, and wipe my tears away. His face is full of confusion, making me a bit freighted.

"Christian, I'm so glad you okay." I say, caressing his face.

"Who Christian?" He asks innocently, and I sit shocked; looking at my husband. In this moment, I'm praying it do be nightmare. This can't be true.

* * *

_**A/N I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this. Let me know what you think. I've been having this nag at me for a while. But I wrote this when I was really tired, so please forgive me. I've read a lot of stories where Ana or Christian lose their memory, but they usually only forget up until the moment they met. I thought it would be different if I made them forget it all. So, I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think.**_


	2. Twenty Question's

Chapter 2 - Twenty Question's

"Grace!" I call out, stepping away from the bed. He's joking, right? This can't be happening.

Grace rushes into the room, and is shocked to see Christian awake. Silent tears are falling from my eyes, and watch as his gray eyes look to Grace, and back at me with confusion.

"He doesn't remember…" I stutter out, and Grace gasps.

"What?" Grace asks shocked, and I continue looking at a forlorn Christian.

"What happened?" Christian asks his voice full of confusion.

"You were in an accident dear. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?" Grace turns into semi doctor mode.

"I don't remember anyone or anything about me; if that's what you're asking." He says, looking at her with pity in his eyes. I continue to look at Christian, trying to find the man I love somewhere in there. Sure, he looks like him… but other than that, I see nothing. His voice is the same, only somewhat strained from the sleeping; no doubt.

"Do I know you?" He asks her, and I continue to watch on; broken.

"I'm Grace, dear. I'm you mother. And this is Anastasia… you two are married." She says, causing Christian to look at me.

"Anastasia" He repeats, questioning himself. I nod in response, and I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips. It's sad in comparison to my normal laugh, and it quickly subsides.

"You usually only call me that when you're mad me… its Ana." I say sadly, and he nods slightly.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you." He says, looking down at his hands that are folding in his lap. For a moment, I see the broken boy I have met only a few times. I hate seeing him like this… I wish I could take this pain away.

Grace starts an examination, going over what Christian already knows. Nothing, absolutely nothing personal. Although, he now knows his name, my name, and Grace's name.

"Do I have any other family?" He asks, after Grace finishes her round of questions.

"I'll leave you guys to talk. I'm going to go share the news." Grace says sadly, before stepping out of the room. I sit at the foot of the bed, careful to keep my distance. All's I want to do is hold him right now, but I know I can't.

"You do." I say, before continuing on. He's looking at me like I have the meaning of life. And I guess in this case, I do… for him anyway. But I'm stuck here wondering how someone forgets, absolutely everything.

"There's your mother, Grace and your father, Carrick. You have two siblings, an older brother Elliott, and a younger sister, Mia. You were all adopted, but it never really mattered to anyone. You were family, and that's all that mattered to you guys." I say, and he nods.

"What about my birth parents?" He asks innocently, and I hold on to my cringe at that question. I sigh, knowing that I need to answer his questions; it's the only way I can think to help him.

"When you were four, you were brought into the hospital. You mother had recently died, at that time. And, no one was ever able to figure out who your biological father really was." I say, and again he nods in understanding. I can tell he wants to know more, but I don't want to overwhelm him.

"So… how did we meet?" He asks, causing me to smile sadly.

"I fell into your office." I quip, letting a small giggle escape. To his confusion, I remember he doesn't even understand our little joke. It makes me miss him all the more. That was one of the little things we shared.

"My roommate at the time, Kate had an interview with you. She had the flu, so she sent me instead. I ended up falling head first into your office. From there, you kind of stalked me." My smile quickly fades when I see the look of shock on his face.

"I stalked you?" He asks appalled, and I can help it, my smile reappears. Yes, fifty and his controlling ways. I keep reminding myself that he doesn't even remember any of this. I have to be careful what I say.

"You were a man who used his resources. You found out where I worked, and you made an appearance. From there, we started spending more and more time together. We fell in love quickly, and then married shortly after. We knew what we wanted, and we've been together ever since. It hasn't been long, but the love grew every single day…" I trail off hoping that explains some of it for him.

"What do I do?" He asks, the sad smile doesn't leave me face. Hell, I didn't even know who he was when I met him.

"You run a company." I say, not wanting to overwhelm him.

"How old am I?" He asks, I supposed trying to get the facts.

"28" I say.

"I'm young." He states.

"Yes, but trust me when I say your well beyond your years." I respond, before a knock comes on the door; and Taylor walks in.

"Mr. Grey, I'm glad to see you're awake." Taylor says, slipping from his taciturn self; for just a minute

"Thank you… Mr. Suit." Christian says, and I know he's not tying to be funny. But, I have to admit, it was a rare moment for Christian Grey.

"I'm sorry, sir?" Taylor questions and I realize Grace must not have told him.

"He doesn't remember you, Taylor." I say, and he looks a bit shocked at my confession. I sigh, realizing I'm going to have to introduce just about everyone who visits.

"Christian, this is Taylor…. head of security." I say, and Taylor nods to Christian. I can tell he's trying to process this information. It is a lot to take in….

"Security?" Christian questions shocked.

"Yes, you're quite insistent on it." I say, and I can almost see the gears turning in his head.

"Mrs. Grey, may I speak with you outside?" Taylor asks, and I nod; not taking my eyes off Christian.

"I'll be right back." I say, and sigh before standing up. It takes all of my effort to walk out of the room.

"Are you alright Ma'am?" Taylor asks, and I shake my head no. Nothing is alright…

"Can you tell me what happened?" I ask, wanting to know details.

"It was a drunk driver, Ma'am. He was going well over the speed limit, and he didn't stop at the sign." Taylor says, and I nod, letting the silent tears fall.

"Ross needs you to give a press conference. The public got a hold of the information, and their questioning Mr. Grey's health.

"Can you have the team at GEH whip something up? Ask Ross to come, I want to speak with her before I talk to the press. We can use a conference room here, I supposed. I don't want to leave him, right now. Um, tell Andrea to come to. And see if the rest of the family is coming. I don't know how much more information he can take today, but they might want to be here." I say, trying to keep my wits. I need to control the situation, before it gets out of hand. I don't want to add Christian anymore stress.

"Yes, Ma'am I'll get right on it. Is there anything else?" He asks, and I nod slightly.

"A change of clothes for Mr. Grey and I, would be nice. And I want to up security; I don't want to worry about anyone getting to close to him right now. He can't remember anything… we don't want unwanted visitors planting information in his head…" He nods, agreeing. I don't want someone like Elena, or an ex sub trying to get to him. Let alone any business rivals he may have.

"And call Dr. Flynn, see if he can come in, in a couple of days. Christian might need to see him. He may need Flynn's help with this. Whether he remembers him or not…" Taylor nods, and I go back into the room. Christian is still lying on the bed, and his head turns to me when I walk in.

"What was that about?" He asks curious.

"Just dealing with some business, it's nothing to worry about. Focus on getting better…" I realize that if this were Christian, he would be furious that I wasn't telling him. He would demand to know what's going on. But this Christian simply nods hesitantly.

"Alright, can I ask you some more questions?" He asks, and I take my place back by the foot of his bed.

"Fire away." I say, wondering what he could possibly want to know. He thinks for a moment, before I'm hit with twenty questions.

"Do we have any children?" He asks, and I shake my head no.

"No, we planned to try eventually. But we wanted it to be just us for awhile."

"Where did we marry?"

"Your parent's house"

"What do you do?"

"I'm an editor, right now."

"Do you enjoy that?"

"Yes, I've always loved books. We have a library at Escala."

"Escala?"

"The apartment building, where we live."

"What do I do besides run a business?"

"Like hobbies?" I ask, not sure what he means.

"Yeah, what do I do for fun?" My mind goes back to the interview, and I can't help but reminisce a bit.

"You like to fly, mostly. You play piano. You don't like movies very much. There's a number of other things…" Some would be highly inappropriate to list right now.

"I fly? Like planes?" He asks, and I shake my head no.

"You have a helicopter, Charlie Tango. You also know how to fly a glider…"

We're interrupted by a knock on the door, and Taylor walk in.

"Mrs. Grey, everything is ready." He says, and I nod.

"I have to go and deal with some things, but I should be back soon. Are you going to be alright here?" I ask, and he nods.

"Yes, I'm a bit… overwhelmed. I think I'll take a nap." He says, before I hesitantly walk out of the room.


	3. Favorite's

_**A/N I don't know if you guys know this, so I'm just going to say it anyway. I changed my Pen Name, sorry if it confused anyone. Um, I'm glad you guys like this story. It went over a lot better than what I thought it would. So, I have decided to continue it. I hope to continue hearing from you guys, about what you think. Anyway, I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story.**_

* * *

Chapter 3 - Favorite's

When I walk out of Christian's room, I am met with Taylor and the rest of the security team.

"The family are in the waiting room. Ross and Andrea should be here soon. And the press are gathering in the conference room." Taylor says, and nod sadly.

"Taylor, Prescott, will you stay here? Make sure no one enters the room. Sawyer you can come with me, I guess…" I trail off, not knowing how Christian does all this.

"Yes, Ma'am" They say in unison, and I start walking towards the waiting room.

Everyone stands when I enter, and the family rushes over to me. We hug and greet each other sadly, before we all take our seats. The family already knows what going on, or at least they get the idea of it.

"I'm holding a press conference in a little while; you're welcome to join me if you want. Christian is feeling a bit overwhelmed with all he's learned today, I think visits should be held off until tomorrow. God, he doesn't even know himself…" I trail off, not sure of what else to say.

"Ross and Andrea should be here soon…" I say to the quite room.

"Well, I'm here for you Ana. Both Carrick and I will join you." Grace says sweetly, and I nod sullenly.

"Of course, Ana" The usually energetic Mia says.

"Anytime, Ana" Elliot says, taking Kate's hand in his.

Just then, Ross comes in, followed by Andrea.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back. After I'm done, we should be ready to do." I say, walking towards Ross and Andrea gesturing them to follow me.

I let out a deep sigh when we get to a quiet place in the hallway.

"Mr. Grey has currently no memory of his life…" I start, not really sure how to put it. The shock on their face is evident.

"I don't want anyone else getting a hold of this information…" I say after a moment, and they nod in understanding.

"I understand they are questioning his health. I would really like to downplay it as much as we can…" I don't like lying, but I feel like its necessary at this point.

"We don't know how long until he gets his memory back…" And even then, it's highly unlikely to come back all at once. It could days before he has a flashback, it could take months…

"What happens with GEH?" Andrea asks unsure of what else to say.

"Well, I hope you to will be able to work together; and keep it running. I'll help when I can, but I really just want to focus on Christian, right now."

"Of course Mrs. Grey, we can handle it. Don't worry about a thing. I'm sorry…" Ross says, and I can tell even she is a little lost for words. I can't say I blame her. I'm sure her and Christian have been working together for years. And they are like equals, by now. I mean, I think she's one of the few people who are allowed to call him Christian.

"Alright, I'm going to go get the family. If you two would join be at the conference, I'm sure they have question about GEH that I'm going to be able to answer. And Andrea, can you quickly type a vague statement on Mr. Grey's health. I'm sure anything will do, at this point…" I say, and they nod before heading downstairs. I see Andrea type on her IPad while she goes, and I'm in awe of what those women can do.

I walk back into the waiting room, to retrieve the family; and we all head downstairs. It's Carrick, Grace, Mia, Elliot, Kate, Sawyer, and I who take the elevator down. It's a large elevator, and we aren't crowded; although Grace takes my hand in hers. It's a small comforting gesture, and it makes me feel relieved at this point. I'm a bundle of emotions having to deal with all of this. But it's comforting to know that I have people there for me.

Outside the conference room, Andrea and Ross are waiting for us. We follow Ross and then Andrea into the conference room. Carrick is the first of us, followed by me, and then Grace. After Grace is Mia, and then Elliot and Kate. When we walk in, the lights flashing are blinding; and I try best to ignore them, but it isn't easy. The press are loud, and they definitely feel like vultures at this point. Andrea has set her IPad on the podium, and it's open to a small statement that looks fine when I'm able to glance down at it. They stand a little ways away from Carrick, who is to my left. Grace takes my hand in hers, while she stands to my right side; and it's comforting to be in between these two. The conference room definitely large, but it feels smaller with all the people that are in it. Thankfully, security are able to keep the press away from the stage type area. It's more just a large two step platform, and it doesn't take up much room. But it's plenty for us to be far enough away from the press, and not scrunched like sardines.

When they finally calm down giving me a chance to speak, I take a deep breath. A lone tear falls down my check, and I hate that I can see a few camera flashes. These people are relentless; I just want peace for my family, and Christian's company. I know his staff is probably getting a million calls, and I hope this calms them down. I don't want to have to worry about that, along with all of this. I just want Christian, our family, and I to be in peace.

"We regret to inform you that Mr. Grey and I were in an accident late Sunday night. Mr. Grey was driving, when a drunk driver ran a stop sign; and hit the driver's side of our car. Mr. Grey had gone into surgery not long after the accident, and he is currently recovering from his injuries. We are asking that our family gets privacy, while we recover from this incident…" I trail off, not able to finish the rest of it. I'm guessing she was able to get information of Sawyer, considering they both signed NDA's. Either way, don't really care about the details at the moment. I just want to get this done with, and go sit with my Fifty.

"When will Mr. Grey be returning to work?" One of the asks, and I turn to Grace.

"Although Mr. Grey is perfectly healthy, we want to make sure he's fully recovered before returning to work." She says, and can tell she to, is having a hard time talking about it.

"Do you think this was an intention accident?" Another one asks, and Carrick steps in this time; which I'm thankful for.

"The accident is still under investigation, at this time. But there doesn't seem to be any signs of foul play." He says, hiding his emotions well.

"Mrs. Grey, what injuries did you sustain?" One of them asks, and the question pains my heart. I would have taken on so many more injuries if it meant my husband didn't have to endure this.

"A broken wrist, and couple of other scrapes; nothing major." I say, the sadness obvious in my voice. I just can't get over the fact that he was so badly injured.

They ask a few more questions, a couple more about his health, and a few about GEH. We seemed to have appeased them, even in out vague answers. And we take our leave from the room, heading out in the hallway. I say goodbye to Andrea and Ross, who assure me they have everything under control; for now. I thank them, before bidding farewell to my family. They are going to be back tomorrow to visit, and they are going to work out a plan so everyone is not coming at once. Grace didn't want him to be bombarded with a bunch of people he didn't recognize, and I whole heartily agreed; no matter how heart breaking it was. There's nothing we can do about this situation, so we're just going to have to live with it.

I head back to Christian's room, after the family leaves. Taylor opens the door for me, after handing me an overnight bag. I thank him for it, before walking into the room, where Christian is laying on the bed; surfing through channels. I set the bag down on the couch near his bed, and I begin rummaging through it. That hospital gown can't be comfortable, surely. I pull out a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants, and a white t shirt for him to wear; since he really isn't leaving the room tonight, it doesn't really matter. I set them off to the side, and continue looking for something for me to change into. Not only did Mrs. Jones pack clothes, but she also has my laptop, blackberry, and IPad in here. I love this woman to death, I don't know what I would do without her.

Handing Christian his clothes, he looks at them curiously; before taking them. When he sits there looking at the clothes in his hand, I figure he's trying to figure out why I gave them to him. I know he knows clothes, but it seems he doesn't recognize his own. _Well, no shit Steele. _I mean, Grey. God dammit, I can't even get my own name right.

"There yours, I thought you would want something more comfortable to change into." I say, gesturing towards his hospital gown. How he manages to pull even that off, I'll never know.

With that, he walks to the on suite bathroom; and finish finding some lounge clothes. I decide to sleep on the couch, seeing as I'm not leaving him. I just need to get a pillow and blanket from the nurse, when I get a chance.

He comes out, looking sexy as ever, and I remind myself not to stare. I grab my clothes instead, and walk into the bathroom. When I'm finished changing, I walk back out to Christian who's still playing with the TV. I make myself comfortable in the couch, and watch him scroll endlessly through channels; which in turn makes him just go through them all over again. I have to admit, the hospital doesn't have a wide range of channels, but then again, why would they?

"I saw you on TV…" He says, passing channels a little slower than before.

"Yes, unfortunately I had to do it in order to, keep the peace; if you will." I say, glancing at him. He's looking at me with an unnamed emotion, before speaking again.

"You looked sad…" He trails off at a loss for words. I see a hint of pity in his eyes, before he turns back to the TV. I feel like now would be a good time to tell him that he doesn't usually watch TV, but I decide to let him figure that out for himself. I don't really know what else I can give him to do. He doesn't seem to walk to talk. And I don't even know what to talk about. I decide to wait until he brings something. Until then, I decide to pull a manuscript up on my laptop; the channel surfing is starting to give me a headache.

"What's my favorite ice cream?" He asks out of nowhere, making me look up from the screen. He's looking at me questionly, and a smalls smile plays on my lips before I look back down to my work.

"Vanilla" I answer simply, laughing inwardly at my own little joke.

"What's my favorite food?" He asks, and I inwardly sigh. I continue looking at my manuscript, knowing I won't be able to look in his eyes. It hurts to see him like this, so… lost.

"Mac and Cheese." I don't mind these questions, there the easy ones. It's when he asks about us being together, that my heart just wants to break. I just don't want to keep knowing that he doesn't remember us.

"What's my favorite show?" He asks, making me look up from my manuscript.

"Um, you don't really watch TV." I confess, still looking at him. He simply nods, before continuing his questioning.

"Alright, what kind of music do I like?" He asks, and I almost want to chuckle. Okay, that's kind of a hard one to specify.

"Oh, you have an eclectic taste; dear." I say, only to be met with a confused expression. I sigh, and close my laptop. I begin digging through the bag that has been sitting next to me. I pull out my IPad, and go to the music section for him. It's mostly all of his, anyway. I walk over to the bed, as he waits patiently. Wow, Christian Grey patient. This is a once in a lifetime sight. I remind myself that this isn't exactly him, right now. I'm going to have to work on not being shocked at some of this, but it is really hard. How do I look at him, and see the man I love; only he's not even there. He doesn't know me, or us… he doesn't even know himself.

I take the remote, and mute the TV; after handing him the IPad. He doesn't know how to use one, that much I'm sure. He knows basic knowledge, and usual this would be basic knowledge now a days; especially to him. But I guess it's just another thing he's forgotten. I show him how to use it, along with how to access other stuff. I don't want to overwhelm him with all my information, so I decide to let him play around with it on his own. If he has questions, he can ask me.


	4. Sex On Fire

Chapter 4 - Sex On Fire

When he finally gets to music, I think I'm going to get another headache. He doesn't stay on one song for too long, and when he does it doesn't last much longer than a minute. When Kings of Leon come on, I instantly recognize the song. My head snaps up to Christian, and I see an odd expression on his face while he looks at the screen. He hasn't realized that I'm looking at him, and I can't really tell what he's thinking.

In a blur, the iPad falls on his lap, and the heart monitor goes off. I watch dumbfounded as a team of nurses and a doctor rush in. I don know what they do, but when his eyes open again, my heart skips a beat. The thought of losing him is the most freighting things up with.

They leave after he slowly recovers from whatever attack that was. When he glances at me, I know there are tears in my eyes. What was that? I question, unable to hear the doctors answer in my head. I saw him talking before he left, but I didn't really hear what he was saying after he said Christian was fine.

"We were in a car... Driving... And that song was playing..." He says, and I slowly nod. He remembers something?

"... Was I remembering the accident?..." He questions, and I slowly shake my head no.

"It was when we first met... You were driving me home..." I trail off, and he nods slowly and hesitantly. After a minute or two of looking into one another's eyes, he goes back to the iPad. I wipe a fallen tear from my eye, before standing up.

"I'll be right back..." I say, and he nods looking at me. I don't meet his haze this time, but make my way to the bathroom. I close the door, and run the sink water. Falling against the door, I let the tears fall freely. I'm happy he remembered something, I really am. And the fact that it was a memory with the two of us makes me even happier. But call me selfish, I wish he could have remembered more. I just don't understand why this is happening to us...

After a few minutes of nothing but tears, there's a knock on the door.

"Ana?" Grace calls through the door.

"Be out in a minute." I call back, not recognizing my own voice. I quickly wipe the tears away, and stands to wash my face in the running water. It's cold, but does nothing to wake me up. I dry my face, and look in the mirror before leaving. I look like a zombie, I look... broken...

I exit the bathroom, and see Grace talking with Christian. She gives me a sad smile while my husband looks at me unrecognizing. He remembers one memory, nothing else, I remind my self. It hurts that he doesn't remember me. But then I remember that he doesn't even remember himself... and my heart breaks all over again.

"I was telling Christian that he's going to be able to go home in a couple of days..." Grace says, and I return her sad smile; before sitting back down on the couch in his room.

"That's great." I say truthfully, happy the doctors think he's making at least some progress.

"Familiar settings will be good for him. Maybe take him places he visits a lot. Like GEH or the Mile High Club, perhaps. It might be able to bring something else back..." She says with a kind smile, and I nod at her.

"Sounds good." I say.

"You're welcome to come to Bellevue, as well." She adds, and I smile knowingly. I think Grace is almost always her caring self. She's always thinking of others, even if she may be hurting. Like now, I know she's hurting, but she will still offer her home to us. Well, I understand why… but still; there are mothers who wouldn't do that. Christian is lucky to have Grace… well, really anyone who has Grace is lucky to have her in their lives. I don't know what I would do without her, in this moment.

"The family all arranged time to come by tomorrow." She says, and I know even she's at a loss for words right now. I don't know what to say… She doesn't know what to say... And Christian doesn't really have anything to say. Christian and I nod, and I wonder what he's thinking at this moment. It's usually not this hard to figure out what he's thinking… but I guess that all changed.

"You should get some rest soon, Christian." He nods, looking at her with the same expression he had on before. It's like he there… but he really isn't. His face is sincere, but at the same time, he still has no idea who anyone is.

"I'll speak with you both tomorrow." She concludes, leaving the room. She gives me a sad smile, before she leaves. I can tell that she's about to shed at least one tear. I understand… I definitely get it. I have no idea how hard this is on her.

"So… my family is coming tomorrow?..." He trails off. Grace left a few moments ago, and we have been sitting in silence since. Theres a back and white movie or something on the television, but there isn't any sound to accompany it. So I'm guessing it's either muted or it's simply a silent film. Either way, I'm glad to hear him breaking the silence…

"I spoke with them about it earlier, and they wanted to see you. I didn't want you to be overwhelmed, I hope that alright." I say, and he nods like he's unsure of himself.

"They were with you on the TV…" He somewhat questions it. I completely forgot that he said he saw that.

"Yes, along with two people from your work who set most of that up…" I say, and he nods again.

"Will I meet them tomorrow too?" He asks, sounding somewhat frightened at the possibility.

"No, unless you want to, of course." I say, and he adamantly shakes his head no. Good thing I didn't set anything up, then. I mean, he just forgot his memory, did he really think he would be expected to work so soon.

"No thanks…. I'm just kind of taking this all one thing at a time. I really don't want to add this whole work thing. I mean, it already sounds like a lot of… work…." He trails off, and I can't help but find his words amusing. I miss my determined fifty. My fifty had power lust. This man sitting in front of me only wants control over well, getting his memory back. I guess that the most driven thing someone can do. That really does take a lot. Maybe my fifty is in there somewhere. Maybe he just wants to focus on getting better. He doesn't need control at this point, nor does he want it. But what he does want, is to get his memory back, doesn't he? I mean, he does want to remember, right? He does want to try?

* * *

_**A/N Sorry this is such a short chapter, I wanted to get out what I could. I will try to work on getting the next one out, sooner. I've been kind of busy, so I apologize. **_

_**Sorry I don't have a BETA for this story. And I don't do a very good job of editing, I know. I have a hard enough time updating, if you haven't noticed. I want to apologize, I've been really busy with well, life. So much has been going on, and writing is just kind of like "Eh" right now. I apologize for my lack of ambition to just about everything. What can I say? I have no excuses, I just… couldn't write. Along with life, I seem to have gotten a case of writer's block. I'm going to call it that, because I haven't only been lacking in this story. A lot of my stories have suffered from my lack of updating. So, I really am sorry to do that to you guys. It's not my intention, it's simply my brains way of being. I really want to update, trust me. It makes me feel shitty when I don't. So, I hope you guys will be patient with me.**_

_**This story seems to be coming a bit easier, right now. Lets hope it will continue to go that way. I don't want to leave you guys hanging. So I really will try to update when I can. But I really don't want to post complete crap. I hope ya'll can forgive me.**_

_**Thank you all for the reveiws, follows, favorites, and everything else you guys do. I appreciate every single one of them. I want to thank everyone for their support, and I will try to update soon.**_

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